Chaise Lounge Comedian

Jokes that aren't funny and require too much setup.

Oct 20

“Play with her butt, not her feelings.” (via mrslimaa)

(via yes-homo)


scottish-hugs-for-troyler:

oddbagel:

jaxtellerhelps:

tuckedshirts:

pretendersrpa:

slippingintoacomabored:

traumacomplex:

no but imagine the tally marks turning black if their love is requited.

and then imagine the tally marks becoming a scar when the one they love dies.

Imagine someone with no tally marks meeting someone with 50 tally marks

Imagine someone with no tally marks starting to like someone with all tally marks scarred 

imagine aromantics with no tally marks laughing at this tally mark bullshit system
imagine someone afraid of being in love suddenly getting a tally mark
imagine someone married with a single nice black tally mark has a new one just appear
imagine someone with a single scarred mark that refuses to love again gets a new mark and it’s black
imagine someone who falls in love too easily having a lot of marks
imagine nurses at old people homes taking care of people with scarred marks, black marks, and no marks

Imagine a dolphin with human legs. Like a normal fucking dolphin except it gets up and walks around on human legs. Wouldn’t that be fucking nuts. Just my contribution to this post.

^^^^😂😂😂😂😂^^^^

scottish-hugs-for-troyler:

oddbagel:

jaxtellerhelps:

tuckedshirts:

pretendersrpa:

slippingintoacomabored:

traumacomplex:

no but imagine the tally marks turning black if their love is requited.

and then imagine the tally marks becoming a scar when the one they love dies.

Imagine someone with no tally marks meeting someone with 50 tally marks

Imagine someone with no tally marks starting to like someone with all tally marks scarred 

imagine aromantics with no tally marks laughing at this tally mark bullshit system

imagine someone afraid of being in love suddenly getting a tally mark

imagine someone married with a single nice black tally mark has a new one just appear

imagine someone with a single scarred mark that refuses to love again gets a new mark and it’s black

imagine someone who falls in love too easily having a lot of marks

imagine nurses at old people homes taking care of people with scarred marks, black marks, and no marks

Imagine a dolphin with human legs. Like a normal fucking dolphin except it gets up and walks around on human legs. Wouldn’t that be fucking nuts. Just my contribution to this post.

^^^^😂😂😂😂😂^^^^

(via laws-of-thermodynamics)


pheromonekvlt:

tyrushighdef:

We know what happened

Some kind of 4 armed insect lady was hit by a car rest in peace god bless

pheromonekvlt:

tyrushighdef:

We know what happened

Some kind of 4 armed insect lady was hit by a car rest in peace god bless

(via saviginda)


clrafting:

when you see someones wing wang on omegle 

image

(via saviginda)


(via saviginda)


brandon-schwartzel:

Hey, I tried.

(via thelesbianicplague)


majorvirgin:

LOOK AT WHAT THEY FUCKING DID TO BOB THE BUILDER

image

I AM FUMNG WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS 

SMUG ASS STEPDAD LOOKING ASS LITTLE SHIT 

(via saviginda)


llamasouls:

im failing biology

(via abroham-lincoln)


latteos:

did raven just low key call her a cracker

(via saviginda)


(via saviginda)


itsvondell:

oedipiss:

itsvondell:

oedipiss:

itsvondell:

if you look closely at the washington memorial, you can see a patch of discoloration on the bottom section of the structure. this is due to water damage resulting from when president nixon famously and controversially let the government open the water gate in 1973. this caused washington dc to flood and the damage took many years to repair. the american people voted to impeach president nixon for this oversight. it is widely remembered as one of the worst decisions in the world.

Actually wasn’t that because construction was stopped for a time for some reason idk but then when I started again they couldn’t get the same material

im pretty sure it was because of the water gate

Watergate was a scandal that happened in which documents were destroyed in the watergate building which lead to his impeachment. Not an actual watergate

there is a lot of conflicting information out there and probably a lot of different cover-ups to be found. who knows what really happened.

itsvondell:

oedipiss:

itsvondell:

oedipiss:

itsvondell:

if you look closely at the washington memorial, you can see a patch of discoloration on the bottom section of the structure. this is due to water damage resulting from when president nixon famously and controversially let the government open the water gate in 1973. this caused washington dc to flood and the damage took many years to repair. the american people voted to impeach president nixon for this oversight. it is widely remembered as one of the worst decisions in the world.

Actually wasn’t that because construction was stopped for a time for some reason idk but then when I started again they couldn’t get the same material

im pretty sure it was because of the water gate

Watergate was a scandal that happened in which documents were destroyed in the watergate building which lead to his impeachment. Not an actual watergate

there is a lot of conflicting information out there and probably a lot of different cover-ups to be found. who knows what really happened.

(via saviginda)



i-learned-it-from-the-pizzaman:

So my teacher told us that two blue eyed people can’t have a brown eyed kid and this kid in my class said “but both my parents have blue eyes and I have brown eyes”.  The teacher said “so you’re adopted”.  THe next day the kid came in and told us that he confronted his parents about it and that they said he was adopted but wanted to wait for the right time to tell him.  

image

(via saviginda)


mzenun:

sHE EVEN GLANCES DOWN

(via punkmonksteven)


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