Chaise Lounge Comedian

Jokes that aren't funny and require too much setup.

Sep 18
klefable:

shockingly, kids are sick and tired of paying hundreds of dollars for overpriced stacks of paper!!!!!! who wouldve thought!!!!!!

klefable:

shockingly, kids are sick and tired of paying hundreds of dollars for overpriced stacks of paper!!!!!! who wouldve thought!!!!!!

(via jakems)


bakethatlinguist:

papershopprojects:

huffingtonpost:

HERE’S WHAT ‘YELLOW FEVER’ REALLY MEANS

"All my ex-girlfriends are Asian."

If you’ve ever come across this charming come-on, you’ve probably been exposed to yellow fever

For her full commentary watch the video here.

YES, THERE IS NOW A MUCH NEEDED GIF SET FOR THIS!

I removed the word rant from the link, because I felt it dismissive of what she was actually trying to communicate. 

(via jakems)


literal-ghost:

venipede:

cool-edge:

POKEMON BLACK AND WHITE CAME OUT 4 YEARS AGO WHAT THE HELL 

remember when constantly moving sprites was a huge fucking deal


deducecanoe:

8m57w6:

ashtonjpage:

passiveimagination:

My mom teaches Kindergarten and I went to her classroom a few days ago and saw what appeared to be a small shrine dedicated to Jodie Foster in the corner of the room and I had literally no idea why it was there, so I asked my mom about it and she said it’s where the kids can go to tattle on each other so they don’t always do it to her

So basically my mom tells her little Kindergarteners to tell on each other to a magazine clipping of Jodie Foster that they call Miss Tattle and if you don’t think that’s the funniest thing then get out of my face

OMG, I can’t.

 Oh man yeah this is a super common thing, we have one of these in my preschool room, too, except ours is a picture of Obama. When the kids are upset or angry or want to tattle or whatever they “Go tell the President” and its my favorite thing.

GO TELL THE PRESIDENT

(via pufflehuff)


hiiifly:

Somebody @ both of them together and get this HBO boxing event popping

(via optianal)


squarter:

treecko007:

bittenlipsandbrokenhearts:

Get the fuck out

Ahh

I’m so mad about this

(via stare-likeyouwillstay)



If you have a crush on me, anonymously tell me why.

barag0n:

shit gets real

(via siriuslymynameispadfoot)


trulyteru:

death2falsepunx:

julianathursday:

six6vi:

i wish everyone could see this

No such things as a bad dog. It’s a bad owner.

Damn right

comment bolded for import

trulyteru:

death2falsepunx:

julianathursday:

six6vi:

i wish everyone could see this

No such things as a bad dog. It’s a bad owner.

Damn right

comment bolded for import

(via stare-likeyouwillstay)


bigbardafree:

shout out to chubby girls with small chests whose body type is never represented in posts about body positivity

(via stare-likeyouwillstay)


tacobelligerent:

tacobelligerent:

I STEPPED ON A FUCKING LEAF AND AT THE SAME TIME SOME KID SCREAMED I THOUGHT IT WAS THE FUCKIN LEAF OMG

why do we always have to reblog my mistakes

(via pufflehuff)


arkhamboundz:

rincewitch:

leosboots:

littlekoalaotter:

It took Katara about .532 seconds to take zuko down

"Here for a rematch?" HE ASKED THE WATERBENDER WHILE STANDING ON A GLACIER ISLAND SURROUNDED BY WATER

lmao

(via clickeh)


(via pufflehuff)



archaic-soul:

"Man surprised me most about humanity. Because he sacrifices his health in order to make money.Then he sacrifices money to recuperate his health. And then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present; the result being that he does not live in the present or the future; he lives as if he is never going to die, and then dies having never really lived.” ― James J. Lachard

… … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … 


Existence is a breathtaking thing; can you feel it?


Where’s your head at?

Returning to the “now” may be the greatest gift you ever give yourself. Every moment is a chance for rebirth; you have the choice to either focus on illusion, distraction, negativity, etc, or to embrace the happiness and clarity you were meant to experience.

You are both the captive and the captor. And you have the power to break the chains which are causing you mental suffering.

You deserve to be fully alive. Right here, right now.  

Sources for images


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